Let's talk for a moment about courtesy.

Our mothers all taught us the basics about courtesy -- to say please and thank you, to not talk with our mouths full and to not stare at people who look different.

The average person can pull off some semblance of courtesy for the most part. It's a rare person who is just horridly rude, spitting food everywhere and yelling at a waiter for more lemons for his water. We don't encounter too many of those people.

Most people can say please, or at least have a polite tone, when they want something. At the very least, they don't sneer or roll their eyes.

But when a cell phone rings, all rules of courtesy are completely null and void.

I am continuously amazed at how typically polite people go completely into jerk mode as soon as a cell phone vibrates.

I know this has happened to everyone. You are with a friend or colleague, walking along, and his cell phone rings. One second he is semi-engaged in conversation with you. The next second he has completely forgotten you are standing there. After digging in his pants pocket for his phone that is playing an obnoxious song (unbelieveably loudly for no apparent reason), he fumbles and nearly drops it, but finally he flips it open, silences the music and out of breath answers, "Hello? hello? HEYYYY! How's it going! Yeah I can talk. Go ahead. Hello? Can you hear me? Really? You did that? And she said that? That's hilarious! HAHAHAHA!"

At this point, there is no reason for you to continue to stand beside him. You could suddenly start to do a monkey polka dance wearing clown shoes and a mermaid tail and he would have no idea. He has entered Cell Phone Land.

He also has no memory of the previous five minutes you were speaking to him prior to his cell phone ringing. Nevermind that you had just been talking about work he should do to get that promotion, or that he had just promised to bake two dozen cookies for the company party.

Bad cell phone behavior comes in many forms.

I am always amused when a person holds up that one finger to silence me when I attempt to sneak in a few words myself while he or she is on the phone. I'm trying to tell you that you are about to step into a giant puddle of hydrochloric acid, but it is rude to interrupt you while you are on the phone. Sorry about that.

Another aspect of Cell Phone Land is the undeniable volume level of cell phones. Most people I know always have their phones in close proximity -- in their hands, on their ears, in their pockets or purses. Ready to answer lightning-quick as soon as it rings. If that is the case, why turn up the volume so loud? Does your ringtone double as your entertainment? Do you only get to hear the Black Eyed Peas' "Imma Be" when your buddies call you? If I am your involuntary audience, at least let me hear an entire verse of a song five times, instead of "Imma be...im..." each time a text message comes in. This is a plea from a person who values quiet and peace as much as courtesy: If you anticipate several texts in a row, please turn down your ringer.

What is also interesting about Cell Phone Land inhabitants is how they disregard how much the person on the other end of the call can hear. Most current cell phones have excellent sound pickup, and this is great -- and horrifying. Think about the most private times of your day -- showering? Using the bathroom? Singing loudly in the car to the Spice Girls? Your callers could potentially be sharing all of that with you. Most of my friends, at least, are either unusually tolerant or polite to address it with me if I have ever put one of them in that position. But I have been in that position many times. In my time on the phone with friends, I have heard a few toilets flush, which is a zero-tolerance situation for me.

At work I am consistently amazed and simultaneously annoyed when a customer calls and seems to have no regard (or no knowledge) of what comes through the phone line. More than once I have had to ask a person to turn down music so I can hear what he or she is telling me. More than once I have answered a call from a person calling on a landline, and I had to ask the person to silence her cell phone ringing so I could listen to what she was asking for. She seemed genuinely baffled that I was bothered by her obnoxious "feelin' groovy" ringtone playing incessantly.

Just today I picked up the phone and had this conversation:

Caller: Hi, I was "plink" wondering if you could "plink" tell me how I could "plink plink" get a press release "plink" published in your "plink" newspaper.
Me: Sure, let me give you an "plink plink" email address where you can "plink" send that.
Caller: Ok, let me get a "plink" pen.
Me: Ma'am, what is that sound "plink" in the background?
Caller: Oh, that's a piano "plink" being tuned.

For her, that was probably the most natural sound. Maybe she is a music teacher, or a mother of a piano student, or maybe she works for a piano manufacturer. Who knows? I, on the other hand, am none of those things. I was completely distracted by the sound, and when I couldn't figure out what it was, I had to ask. Her tone when she told me a piano was being tuned was matter-of-fact bordering on "duh" with a touch of "you're rude to ask me."

I'M the rude one here? Classic Bon Qui Qui.

And I can't say I've never been guilty of committing any of these. I absolutely have. But realizing how completely bonkers it makes me, I try really hard to be courteous. I turn down my ringtone, especially in public. If I am in conversation with someone and my phone rings, I try to not answer calls unless it is really important. Voicemail was invented for a reason. There is such a thing as face-to-face conversation still.

Nearly everyone has cell phones, and while they are fantastic for so many things, they can also be nuisances. Let's try to be courteous of each other.

Not everyone thinks your Lady Gaga ringtone is nearly as awesome as you do.